


a tale of two

by tadahiis, znake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: im gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 03:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12099396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadahiis/pseuds/tadahiis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/znake/pseuds/znake
Summary: y’alld’ve whomstedever get me a bee emoji movie





	1. TURGLE TURGLE

**Author's Note:**

> what the fuck is homestu

your name is TURGLE TURGLE . 

you live in a BOX OF POPTARTS and you are GAY . every day you wake up and crave the SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH . you enjoy MAKING MEPS and MEMES . you pray to your KNIFE WIFE every night . you are in the habit of STEALING CATCHPHRASES ( ANYONE IN THIS THREAD SNORT CUM ) . your best friend may HAVE A DADDY KINK . you are into VORE and DABBING .

your trolltag is mukuroFuckersixtynine and you 

kant even fhkjdhfksjhfkjsd mood turgle turgle ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	2. whom ?

your name is GAYDAD MCFUCK and you are a GAY DAD . you enjoy MCFREAKING LOSING IT and SNORTING CUM ! you spend your free time PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS and CRYING OVER ORCS .  
  
you live in HELL and exclusively wear your TOTALLY LEGIT NARUTO HEADBAND . you LIVE ALMOST ENTIRELY OFF OF COFFEE ( lov the cronch of the styrofoam ) and constantly wear your ITS FRIDAY LADS SHIRT , even when it isn’t friday .  
  
your troll tag is bigdaddyBoris and you 

lov the cronch lads ! ( hey, cuck )


	3. BOI

claims to be pro-turgle, dies anyways


	4. hcapapter 4

gaydad lovs to snort cum!!! yum!!! almost as much as they lov to go to McTurgle™ you bring em we slap em!! slap ur balls bois,,,, slap ur balls,,,,

so anyways,, they go there everyday at least like,, 4 times to eat a 20 piece chiekn mcnugget meal (feebe teh neebles) and it's fucking ncie and im so sorry but im not eve looking at the keys anymore im so fuckin tird


	5. Chapter 5

gaydad kicks a rock but is so weak that it breaks their leg and now gaydad is dead

turgle smooches a vriska or wait no its a trick question . turgle smooches every girl in homestuck . theres rose , theres jade , theres kanaya , theres other girls ? a whole lotta girls

gaydad ressurects from the dead only to be high fived by my boy equius and die

NEPETA


End file.
